Of course it&#39;s a foe. We don&#39;t have any friends.

https://notalwaysright.com/bird-box-literally/400785/

Read Bird Box, Literally

She put the box in the break room and wrote on it:
Sign: "DO NOT OPEN! BIRD INSIDE!"
Later that day, they were in the break room, and one of her coworkers walked in and opened the box, releasing the bird again.

Read Bird Box, Literally

https://notalwaysright.com/bird-box-literally/400785/

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https://notalwaysright.com/bird-box-literally/400785/

Read Bird Box, Literally

https://notalwaysright.com/change-of-focus/402085/

Posted by Not Always Right

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=402085

Read Change Of Focus

Customer: "How many gears are in this Nikon F?"
Me: "I don't know."
Customer: "Wow! You're not a very good salesman!"

Read Change Of Focus

https://notalwaysright.com/change-of-focus/402085/

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=402085

https://notalwaysright.com/there-is-no-people-protocol/400770/

Posted by Not Always Right

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=400770

Read There Is No People Protocol

When I worked at a large, big-box store, I got locked in by the two closing managers. They didn't notice that the cash bags from my register hadn't been turned in, finished closing, and left. I was delayed due to having a complicated customer return and then further issues with my closing duties compounding said delay, but that's beside the point.

Read There Is No People Protocol

https://notalwaysright.com/there-is-no-people-protocol/400770/

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=400770

https://notalwaysright.com/hes-gonna-need-to-do-some-sole-searching/401856/

Posted by Not Always Right

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=401856

Read He’s Gonna Need To Do Some Sole Searching

harassment

I worked in a specialty shoe store. I was fitting an elderly man with shoes; his wife was sitting next to him. He looked at me and said:
Elderly Man: "I love seeing a woman working on her knees."
Me: "Yes, it's the perfect height for punching a man in a specific area."

Read He’s Gonna Need To Do Some Sole Searching

https://notalwaysright.com/hes-gonna-need-to-do-some-sole-searching/401856/

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=401856

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https://notalwaysright.com/someone-needs-to-check-the-schedule-with-surgical-precision/399313/

Read Someone Needs To Check The Schedule With Surgical Precision

Operator: "Is this [My Name]? Why didn’t you answer the first few calls? You are on call; you are required to answer."
Me: "First, yes, I am [My Name]. Second, I didn’t feel like answering these calls at 5 AM. Third, I can assure you I am NOT on call."

Read Someone Needs To Check The Schedule With Surgical Precision

https://notalwaysright.com/someone-needs-to-check-the-schedule-with-surgical-precision/399313/

https://notalwaysright.com/someone-needs-to-check-the-schedule-with-surgical-precision/399313/

Posted by Not Always Right

Read Someone Needs To Check The Schedule With Surgical Precision

https://notalwaysright.com/someone-needs-to-check-the-schedule-with-surgical-precision/399313/

https://notalwaysright.com/eye-of-the-needle-meets-eye-of-the-storm/402032/

Posted by Not Always Right

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=402032

Read Eye Of The Needle Meets Eye Of The Storm

Boss: "How are you finding things?"
Me: "Pretty good! Everyone has been nice, even the customers!"
Boss: "Yeah, that's cool, but remember we're entering hurricane season. Customers get very upset during hurricane season."

Read Eye Of The Needle Meets Eye Of The Storm

https://notalwaysright.com/eye-of-the-needle-meets-eye-of-the-storm/402032/

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=402032

https://notalwaysright.com/ink-credible-coincidence/401956/

Posted by Not Always Right

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=401956

Read Ink-credible Coincidence

Me: "Ma'am, could you please return my pen?"
Customer: "What pen?"
Me: "The marbled green fountain pen that you just put in your bag."

Read Ink-credible Coincidence

https://notalwaysright.com/ink-credible-coincidence/401956/

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=401956

https://notalwaysright.com/the-donuts-arent-the-only-thing-being-frosted/400751/

Posted by Not Always Right

Read The Donuts Aren’t The Only Thing Being Frosted

News: "It is being advised that only essential personnel should be on the roads."
Boss: "Well, that includes us, too!"
Me: "How are we essential?"

Read The Donuts Aren’t The Only Thing Being Frosted

https://notalwaysright.com/the-donuts-arent-the-only-thing-being-frosted/400751/

https://notalwaysright.com/the-donuts-arent-the-only-thing-being-frosted/400751/

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Posted by Not Always Right

Read The Donuts Aren’t The Only Thing Being Frosted

News: "It is being advised that only essential personnel should be on the roads."
Boss: "Well, that includes us, too!"
Me: "How are we essential?"

Read The Donuts Aren’t The Only Thing Being Frosted

https://notalwaysright.com/the-donuts-arent-the-only-thing-being-frosted/400751/

https://notalwaysright.com/pajamas-panic-professionalism/397897/

Posted by Not Always Right

https://notalwaysright.com/pajamas-panic-professionalism/397897/

Read Pajamas + Panic = Professionalism

Me: "I had a dream that I was late for school."
Husband: "Honey. You’re thirty-eight."
Me: "I know! It was just a dream. I don’t know why I thought I was late for school."
Husband: "Did you forget something for work?"

Read Pajamas + Panic = Professionalism

https://notalwaysright.com/pajamas-panic-professionalism/397897/

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https://notalwaysright.com/pajamas-panic-professionalism/397897/

Read Pajamas + Panic = Professionalism

https://notalwaysright.com/youre-here-to-be-served-breakfast-not-medical-history/401825/

Posted by Not Always Right

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=401825

Read You’re Here To Be Served Breakfast, Not Medical History

Restaurant Manager: "A woman collapsed! I think she's having a stroke!"
I sprint there while calling rescue. When I arrive, some nosy woman is asking me:
Diner: "What's wrong with her?"
Me: *As I'm radioing instructions to a colleague to meet the ambulance outside.* "One moment, ma'am."
Diner: "I'm a guest here, and I am talking to you!"

Read You’re Here To Be Served Breakfast, Not Medical History

https://notalwaysright.com/youre-here-to-be-served-breakfast-not-medical-history/401825/

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=401825

Posted by Not Always Right

Read Drama For Days

Sister: "[Aunt] always sends us calendars for Christmas every year. Remember? Where did we put them?"
Me: "Uh, [Sister]…"
Sister: "Where is yours? Did you put up yours yet?"
Me: "[Aunt] didn’t send us calendars this year. She and mom had that falling out, remember?"

Read Drama For Days

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Read Drama For Days

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/ive-got-a-baaaad-feeling-about-this-2026

cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

"I'm sorry, what did you say you wanted on your cake, again?"

"Right, but didn't you want it written a certain way?"

"Ah, that was it! Ok, nooo problem.

"Now, what kind of decorations would you like?"

"Good, good, and what kind of cake?"

"Ok, great! I've got the order all written up, so you can pick up your cake tomorrow. And don't you worry; our baker puts the rest of us to shame." [wink]

****

The Next Day:

Thanks to Ashley S., Daniel S., Kelsey L., Dan K., & Jake H. who could, like, LITERALLY eat an entire cake right now.

*****

P.S. I just bought another pair of these sleep headphones, so time for another shout-out!

Bluetooth Sleep Headphones

I have the kind of insomnia old-timey bards would write songs about, so I listen to boring audio books on these every night to keep my brain from spinning out of control. Lately I've been wearing them like a sleep mask - like the model here - and WOW, that's helped even more than when I wore them like a headband! These things have been a life saver: comfy enough for side sleeping, not too loud like some of my old speakers, and they only cost $20. Plus my original pair lasted a good 2 years before one of the wires went loose.

Please note that these do run on the big side, but that works out great if you have a big head like me. :D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/ive-got-a-baaaad-feeling-about-this-2026

https://notalwaysright.com/meme-it-till-you-mean-it/402030/

Posted by Not Always Right

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=402030

Read Meme It Till You Mean It

Friend: "If I hear one more screaming from that d*** six-seven meme thing, I will do something I regret."
Me: "Yeah, that used to be an issue in our house too."
Friend: "Used to? How did you get them to stop?"

Read Meme It Till You Mean It

https://notalwaysright.com/meme-it-till-you-mean-it/402030/

https://notalwaysright.com/?p=402030