Bulls-eyes
Apr. 5th, 2004 04:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hopefulnebulaCan somebody get behind me and tell me if there's a bullseye on my ass or something? Because that's certainly how I feel right now.
First of all: My mother doesn't think I take our scholarship search seriously. That in itself is OK. The trouble is that she won't ADMIT to thinking so. I'm not sure why. Maybe she's trying to support me. I wish she'd just be honest; she's a terrible liar anyway.
Now. Today. Our schedule's totally screwed up for a couple days this week because the freshmen and sophomores are doing their major class presentations. So the classes are twice their normal length but there are half as many in a day. Therefore, many teachers take this opportunity to take field trips, as they don't have to pull anybody out of class. My Living Faith class (next year it'll be called "Religious Anthropology") went to a local museum exhibit about Macchu Picchu this morning. We got done a bit early, so a bunch of us went to the Hall of Life, this extremely cool health science exhibit. One of the exhibit's highlights is a driving simulator that has a "Sober" and "Drunk" driving experience. Even though the machine's bad enough that most people do better on the "drunk" section, it's fun. So I was on this, OK? Now mine was far from the only school group at the museum; one group that had to have been part of a larger one was eight middle school boys. Now I don't want to hear anything from anybody about how middle school boys "are like that," as I know this all too well. But shit like this happens to me from every other group too. As I was the last person from my school to use it, I ended up surrounded by these kids, who spent about five seconds fighting with each other about who got to use it next. Then they started shoving each other, then they started yelling at me about my "driving," then one of them grabbed the steering wheel. I laughed along with them about my driving at first, naturally, as NOBODY drives well on that thing. That's half the fun, in fact. Then one of them pushed ME to get me to hurry up, and at the same time grabbed my hand off the steering wheel. This was enough. I whipped around like my dad used to when my sister and I bickered on road trips, brought my arm around for leverage, and whacked three of them with one good slap. It's a shame none of them were tall enough that I'd have gotten their balls instead. Anyway, their response? "Go bully someone from your own school, you bully!" I told them to go harass someone from their own school. And you know what one of them said? "It's more fun to harass chicks." *WHACK* Now repeat the cycle.
This is just really painful. I thought I was done with this shit four years ago. At least I knew the names of the people who did this to me in middle school. And now that I'm brave enough to defend myself (and in all fairness, I told them repeatedly to shut up before clocking them), nothing I do does anything. I don't even fit in with the misfits anymore. I never really have. There's only one person I know (online acquaintances excluded) who accepts me for ME and not for who I'm with. I wish she could be here right now.
First of all: My mother doesn't think I take our scholarship search seriously. That in itself is OK. The trouble is that she won't ADMIT to thinking so. I'm not sure why. Maybe she's trying to support me. I wish she'd just be honest; she's a terrible liar anyway.
Now. Today. Our schedule's totally screwed up for a couple days this week because the freshmen and sophomores are doing their major class presentations. So the classes are twice their normal length but there are half as many in a day. Therefore, many teachers take this opportunity to take field trips, as they don't have to pull anybody out of class. My Living Faith class (next year it'll be called "Religious Anthropology") went to a local museum exhibit about Macchu Picchu this morning. We got done a bit early, so a bunch of us went to the Hall of Life, this extremely cool health science exhibit. One of the exhibit's highlights is a driving simulator that has a "Sober" and "Drunk" driving experience. Even though the machine's bad enough that most people do better on the "drunk" section, it's fun. So I was on this, OK? Now mine was far from the only school group at the museum; one group that had to have been part of a larger one was eight middle school boys. Now I don't want to hear anything from anybody about how middle school boys "are like that," as I know this all too well. But shit like this happens to me from every other group too. As I was the last person from my school to use it, I ended up surrounded by these kids, who spent about five seconds fighting with each other about who got to use it next. Then they started shoving each other, then they started yelling at me about my "driving," then one of them grabbed the steering wheel. I laughed along with them about my driving at first, naturally, as NOBODY drives well on that thing. That's half the fun, in fact. Then one of them pushed ME to get me to hurry up, and at the same time grabbed my hand off the steering wheel. This was enough. I whipped around like my dad used to when my sister and I bickered on road trips, brought my arm around for leverage, and whacked three of them with one good slap. It's a shame none of them were tall enough that I'd have gotten their balls instead. Anyway, their response? "Go bully someone from your own school, you bully!" I told them to go harass someone from their own school. And you know what one of them said? "It's more fun to harass chicks." *WHACK* Now repeat the cycle.
This is just really painful. I thought I was done with this shit four years ago. At least I knew the names of the people who did this to me in middle school. And now that I'm brave enough to defend myself (and in all fairness, I told them repeatedly to shut up before clocking them), nothing I do does anything. I don't even fit in with the misfits anymore. I never really have. There's only one person I know (online acquaintances excluded) who accepts me for ME and not for who I'm with. I wish she could be here right now.
...
Date: 2004-04-05 04:31 pm (UTC)Re: ...
Date: 2004-04-05 05:53 pm (UTC)